just let me vent, a minute.

Maybe if i stood on my head and looked at everything that way the world would look better.

I've got a shitty attitude right now. Not helped by the fact that night after night I can't sleep and also that I'm pretty miserable here. It's not being home, it's not living with my parents--it's just that this isn't where my heart is. But there's not much I can do about that right now. I know it does no good to complain but..what the hell else am I supposed to do when that's how I feel?

It'll be over soon. I know that. But I swear to God, it feels like it will never end sometimes. I tried to think back on the past 2 months yesterday and realized they kind of just slipped by me. So time's passing but it doesn't feel like it at all.

I'm trying my best to stay busy. To keep my mind off negative feelings and thoughts. But that's a lot easier said than done. Nobody said it would be easy, right? Well, nobody told me how to keep my sanity either.

Everybody keeps telling me to enjoy the time I have left here...but what's to enjoy when my life is on hold? It's a brand new feeling, not having your life in the same place you are. Not having your heart in your chest or your head able to concentrate on anything else for very long. The only thing that matters to me anymore is Noah. And our life together. ...And I'm not there to be with him or to live it. I'm frustrated and I'm sad. And words can't express how much I can't wait for this being apart bullshit to come to an end.

And there's nothing to do but wait it out. One long, wasted day after another.